Lessons from Motherhood (part two)

This blog will be a continued post from “Lessons from Motherhood (part one)”. So, if you haven’t read part one yet, please take a look; if you have, then welcome back!

5. Mom guilt is a real thing. Motherhood is hard work! Moms deserve “me time”. Whether that’s a mani/pedi, a trip to Target or TJ Maxx, a walk around the block alone, cup of coffee alone, a hot bath, going pee or poop without some sort of bizarre interruption, really anything alone because you need to decompress. I know anytime I do any of these things (because these are some of my go-to things), I feel like complete crap. They’re your kids, why do you need a break from them? There’s a house that you could be cleaning, clothes you could be folding. There’s a husband that you can finally have a normal conversation with. I could’ve done this or that differently, and handled that tantrum a little better. I know I’m not the only one who thinks these things when I take a second for myself. I feel guilty for taking time for myself. How crazy does that sound? It’s so common, but the truth is, we can’t be the moms God designed us to be if we’re not mentally healthy. We have got to take some time for ourselves to catch our breath. We have to learn to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make. When your kids wake up the next day, they’re usually not still thinking about what you did or didn’t do yesterday. They love us so dang much! Mom guilt is very, very real in my life. I am working on taking it a little easier on myself, and taking a breather when I need  it.

6. You now get a free cookie from Publix. Definitely one of my favorite perks. My usual routine is, leave Lola with Shawn go to the bakery section and ask for a cookie for my daughter…then I eat it before I get back to them. If Shawn is not with us and I have both girls by myself, I ask for a cookie for Lola (Piper is too young for cookies), and a cookie for my “other child” (I’m the other child). We both get cookies, and we’re both happy!

7. Your relationship with your partner will change. It’s the sad truth, but it’s inevitable. When you have children, you change. I like to think my girls have brought out the best in me and my husband. We both have seen sides of each other we never saw before having kids. I can’t tell how many times a day I tell Shawn he’s gone soft since having the girls. People tell you to make sure you spend one on one time with your spouse, to date them, to speak their love language. We don’t have family here, so going out is not a thing. Our dates are usually at the house after the girls go to bed. We sometimes have a nice dinner with no phones or TV and good conversation, or sometimes we stay up super late binge watching a show. Things just change, but we have learned what works for us, and we roll with it. And sex. I won’t get into too much detail about this since I know my mom and family are probably reading this (hi guys!). But Shawn and I love our sleep…so sex sometimes takes the back seat. Kids…. Another thing I am guilty of, sometimes I get so overwhelmed by being a mom I don’t “see” Shawn as much as he deserves. I don’t mean physically see. I don’t always acknowledge him and his hard work. He works so hard to provide for our family. He knows I adore him and appreciate everything he does, but I do get so caught up in life that I go longer than I would like without actually telling him. Our relationship has evolved and matured since becoming parents, but it has changed, for the better if you ask me.

8. It is the greatest blessing. How contradicting, right? Motherhood has been life changing. It gave me an idea of how God sees me, and how much He loves me. Before having kids, I was unsure I was able to love like this. I’m so overwhelmed by the amount of love I am capable of. I truly believe God put me on this earth to be a mom. I have days where I feel like I constantly fail, and I’m not good enough to raise these little humans. They make me a better me, they have made life for me and Shawn so much better. We truly understand what really matters. To our girls, thank you for just being you. When I feel flustered and stressed, you know just what I need. You become needy, so I hold you and finally relax. You are worth every lost or hindered relationship. Thank you for growing me in ways I didn’t know I needed growing. You have brought me closer to Christ, and shown me a new love I would have never known. When God gave me you, He knew exactly what I needed. Thank you for being our greatest blessings. We love you forever.

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3 thoughts on “Lessons from Motherhood (part two)

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  1. Gillian, this post brought tears. . . know that you are a fantastic mom and that you are also an integral part of the worldwide community of women who have struggled with guilt in the quest for personal survival and identity. Going on dates at home is a fine idea. Maybe even set a little bistro table up in the backyard that is for you and Shawn alone. Maybe under a pretty tree with a candle or single strand of little white lights somewhere close? Just an idea. Where doesn’t matter as much as the love and time you share.
    I remember thinking one day, when my son was 2 1/2 and my daughter was six months, that I didn’t even really know who I was (at age 21), I had been so deeply submerged in devotion to dear ones and duty. I am so glad you are approaching life in a more self-aware and balanced way than I did. Keep living and loving life, questioning, savoring, and wondering. So glad to be with you in spirit in this journey!❤

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    1. Your words mean so much! Thank you.❤️ I’m so fortunate you are with me in spirit! That’s a beautiful idea to do some dates outside. It’s a scary journey, but it’s so important that we remain open with ourselves and each other to get through.

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